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How Mariska Hargitay Keeps Her Marriage to Peter Hermann “Fresh” After 20 Years

Hargitay and Hermann tied the knot in 2004 and have been thriving for over two decades. 

By Jessica White

While Law & Order: Special Victims Unit has built its legacy on delivering gripping and gut-wrenching storylines, a heartwarming love story emerged: the romance between SVU sensation Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann.

How to Watch

Watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Thursdays at 9/8c on NBC and next day on Peacock.

Hargitay first crossed paths with Hermann after he appeared on Season 3 of SVU as charming defense attorney Trevor Langan. While his first appearance on SVU was brief, his impact on Hargitay was profound. Today, the couple is happily married, still just as smitten as the day they met over 20 years ago. Given the grim nature of SVU, Hargitay and Hermann's longstanding marriage has been an ironically heartwarming development, with their beautiful family life being anything but bleak.

RELATED: All About Mariska Hargitay's Husband Peter Hermann and Their Children

With over two decades behind them, Hargitay and Hermann know a thing or two about keeping their relationship exciting, and during a January 2024 appearance on TODAY, Hargitay dished her sage advice.

Mariska Hargitay shares the secret to her longstanding marriage

Peter Hermann and Mariska Hargitay pose together.

Hargitay fondly reminisced on her multi-decade relationship with Hermann on TODAY with Hoda & Jenna, expressing immense gratitude for their growth over time.

"I'm at a point in my life where it just keeps getting better with him. And marriage is not always like this," Hargitay told the TODAY anchors while pantomiming an upward slope with her hand. "Or any relationship that is deep and matters. But, you know, I have learned so much. Peter always says this beautiful quote about ... breaking through marriage into marriage."

The SVU star is referring to a line from Jack Gilbert's 1994 poem "Tear It Down," wherein the late poet wrote: "We can break through marriage into marriage / By insisting on love we spoil it, get beyond / affection and wade mouth-deep into love."

Hargitay continued, "And that is what I think we've lived because, at this time in my life, I feel very different than I have for the last maybe 15 or 18 [years]. I feel [assured] in our love."

RELATED: Mariska Hargitay & Peter Hermann's Beaming New Selfie Epitomizes Holiday Romance

Hargitay is bursting with love and appreciation over her beautiful marriage, and after all of these years, it's surreal to remember it all began after Hargitay and Hermann crossed paths behind the scenes of SVU.

Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann's love story began behind the scenes of SVU

Lieutenant Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) and Trevor Langan (Peter Hermann) appear in Season 19 Episode 5 of Law & Order: SVU

Referring to Hermann as a "Clark Gable, superman guy" while regaling the story of their SVU meet-cute during a 2022 appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show, Hargitay was charmed by Herrmann from the moment she met him behind the scenes of SVU. Hargitay told People in 2019 that Hermann eventually asked Hargitay to attend a church service with him. The date selection got a big thumbs-up from Hargitay.

"We went to church together, and it was like getting hit with a lightning bolt," Hargitay recounted. "I just started sobbing. Peter thought I was crying because I was so moved by the service. No, it was because I was just overwhelmed, realizing he was the one."

Hargitay's instincts were spot on; the couple tied the knot on August 28, 2004, two years after they began dating. Hargitay and Hermann swapped vows in a beautiful ceremony surrounded by over 200 loved ones in Santa Barbara, California, according to People. After many years together — including the arrival of three kids — Hargitay and Hermann have built a beautiful family of five.

RELATED: All the Gorgeous Details From Mariska Hargitay & Peter Hermann's Fairytale Wedding

Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann look at each other on the red carpet

"I think we both knew, sort of, what we found," Hargitay told People in 2019. "We sort of knew that we found the right one. I never thought it could be this good, and I never knew that I'd be reminded on the journey that I'd marry the right one. That I waited and married the right one and it's better than I thought it was. Because sometimes you take a snapshot and you go, 'I can't believe this is my life.'"

The feeling is mutual: Hermann loves his wife and family and has maintained his status as Hargitay's biggest cheerleader and loudest fan. In October 2021, Hermann penned a social media post expressing his love for the SVU sweetheart in honor of the show's 500th episode, sharing a sweet picture of the couple together.

"You astonish me," Hermann captioned the post. "We met in episode 54. Best 447 episodes of my life. Congratulations, you beautiful life force. I love you."

For a series steeped in tragedy, the union of Hargitay and Hermann is the perfect subplot — a tale of love that continues to shine bright.

Watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit on NBC and Peacock.