Weekend Update, March 29: Signal Scandal, SNL's Ashley Padilla Is Ms. Joann Fabrics
The cast member made her first appearance at the Desk, while Devon Walker shared his Ashton Hall-inspired morning routine.
Yes, "Weekend Update"'s March 29, 2025 installment kicked off with commentary from Colin Jost on Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and national security advisor Mike Waltz's Signal group chat controversy, and parodied a fitness influencer's viral, Saratoga spring-water-obsessed morning routine.
But let's not overlook new Season 50 cast member Ashley Padilla's very first visit to the "Update" desk — in a hilarious turn as Joann of (recently-bankrupt) Joann Fabrics fame.
Colin Jost: U.S. national security team "has the texting skills of my Aunt Janet"
"Weekend Update" led with the events following Atlantic editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg's accidental inclusion in a Signal group chat that circulated the U.S. government's plans to bomb Yemen.
"After the attack, national security advisor Mike Waltz texted the group the fist emoji, the flag emoji, and the Tesla emoji," Colin Jost joked, showing a fire emoji for the latter and poking fun at Waltz's claim that Goldberg's number mysteriously "sucked in" to his phone somehow.
RELATED: Pete Hegseth Accidentally Texts Three Teen Girls in SNL's "Group Chat Cold Open"
Jost and Che also poked fun at the FBI's characterization of Tesla vandalism as "domestic terrorism," and JD Vance's controversial trip to Greenland.
Per Jost, Vance "continued his sad reboot of Veep this week by visiting the military base there and delivering the administrations' clearest threat so far: Either Greenland joins the U.S., or the U.S. will keep sending them JD Vance."
Devon Walker's Ashton Hall-inspired morning routine
An odd morning routine shared by fitness influencer Ashton Hall spawned many, many parody videos this week (even Duolingo's brand account got in on the fun). Devon Walker stopped by to share his own, nearly-identical morning routine, ripping the tape off his mouth to rinse with water from a Saratoga bottle before sprinting the halls of Studio 8H.
Michael Che immediately noticed something. "Are you sleeping in your dressing room?"
"I'm trying to be one of the greats and that don't come without sacrifice. So I sacrificed my apartment," Walker admitted. "Some would call that eviction, but I call that 'being locked in'!"
Ashley Padilla kills as Joann of Joann Fabrics
Not to be outdone, Ashley Padilla earned Kristen Wiig comparisons in the best way for her first-ever "Weekend Update" appearance: A dark take on the fictional namesake of Joann Fabrics. And do NOT get her started on Michael (you know, of Michaels).
RELATED: Watch Mikey Madison's SNL Monologue & Sketches from March 29, 2025
"What an insane WU debut for Ashley," wrote one fan on YouTube. "Definitely was worth the wait."
"She's hilarious! More of her please," wrote another. Watch it below.
